Have yourself an Arabic Christmas.

Christmas is different back home. In fact, if you blink you'd miss it. We make a bigger deal about Muslemmass, which we celebrate on the 28th of December. Muslemmas is a bit like Christmas, except that our Santa is called Abdul-Azim. In English he would be 'the servant of the mighty'. Obviously Abdul-Azim doesn't wear a red snow suit like Santa. He wears a khaki safari suit and looks a bit like Selwyn Toogood.

That probably explains why "It's in the bag" was so popular back home. Everybody liked Teneke Stephenson too.
Happy Muslemmas.

I need to start walking.

I'm impressed to see Richard (of RBB) walking to Petone. It makes me want to get fit too. Back home people only walk if they're fetching something. Maybe I'll walk to a well. I haven't seen any wells in my area. Maybe I could walk to a swimming pool?

I'm just an Arab guy trying to make it down under.

Some days I wish I was back in the Middle East because it keeps raining here. Also, I miss camels (no sex with camels jokes please, The Wine Guy). Things have been quiet with my business lately. I'm in the waste removal business. I have trucks drop off big containers to people who want to get rid of lots of rubbish, like tree cuttings and building refuse. I have my name on the side of these containers, but maybe I need to put something to advertise that they are available. Something like,
"Big containers that can be dropped off at your place and collected later by Bin Hire. Phone... "
I'll give that a shot and maybe I'll add,
"Have a nice day."

How to fix the problems in The Middle East.

Ban explosives and guns. Outlaw suicide bombing. Outlaw religious beliefs. Get both Jews and Arabs doing picture framing. Make every person in the Middle East start a blog. Give free camel rides to tourists.

All the world is at peace as I write.

Except that I'm wearing my explosive waist coat. Well, it's comfortable!
Like thermal undies in winter.

Okay, my hair was a wig.

People, we're all basically the same except that we have different gods.

People sometimes have funny ideas of how other people think. Someone saw my personalised letter box the other day and asked me if I was in the bin hireage business. I told him not to be a racist. I believe that all people are basically the same (the exception obviously being people from Australia), but our gods cause all the trouble. Maybe it's time that we all united under one god. We could all vote for the most popular one. I'm sure that Allah would win. No one is that keen on the Christian god because he keeps sending people to bother others at their door. Allah doesn't do that shit. I say that a vote for Allah is a vote for peace on a Saturday morning.

Oh shit!

What would you do if you were at work and you soiled yourself? What would you do if you didn't have a car parked nearby? How would you hide the accident? How would you save face? Could you ever go back to work again and face your workmates and bosses?
"Look there's Bin! The guy who soiled himself at wotk on Friday!"
I hope this never happens to me!